So I was thinking the other day. That in itself is cause to pause. But I was pondering all the weddings that Rachel and I have planned, and all the couples we have met and loved. We really have loved each and every one. Seriously. In love with them, their little idiosyncrasies. The little things that make them individuals. The qualities in each relationship that they show when we are planning together. The way he goes along with her as she discusses wedding wants and wishes. To support as she looks for the dress that will make her feel like a goddess. The way she makes sure, unbeknownst to him, that our bakery provides a certain kind of outstanding chocolate chip cookie because he gets so excited about them. Or helps him arrange for his “garage band in high school friend” to play acoustic guitar music while they dance.

“He gets me.” “She understands who I am.” “I am a high energy person, but he keeps me grounded.” All of this made me start thinking about my own relationship with my husband.

My husband has been my rock all of our married life. He has supported me in my diverse paths like a pillar.  He signed up for a crazy, and wild ride when he asked me to marry him. He says it was me who asked. Not! I am, after all, a traditionalist when it comes to things like that. Yet, I embrace the opportunity to be spontaneous, on occasion. To make a decision based on emotions only. Or on how my heart feels about it in any given moment. He is more methodical. The idea of owning a business instead of working for someone else seems foreign and “risky”.  So how do we embrace those differences in our personalities? Really learn to love those quirks, qualities, and characteristics that make us unique. I mean, no eye rolling behind his back, no “putting up” with things your fiance does while talking under your breath why it drives you crazy. Want to know how? Ok, I am coming to that, just give me minute…Planning a wedding brings out all the quirks and curve balls in a relationship. Who do we invite? Who do we leave off the list? Where should we have the wedding? How much should we spend? Yada, yada, yada. It is enough to drive even the calmest most sane person over the cliff, and for those of us who are a little more emotion driven, well, you can see where I am going her, did I say her, I slipped, I meant here. Seriously, though, it is where you really see the inner workings of a overworked mind. It can be tough on relationships, but oh so worth the trouble. So how do you get through it and keep your sanity?

That is the very reason we first thought about creating Cactus and Lace Weddings. First we live here in Las Vegas, THE wedding capital of the world after all. But we wanted to smooth the road for couples, by pass all the irritating conversations that talks of weddings can bring on. We want to create peace and calm in the storm,  by providing a well planned, intimate, simple, yet elegant, and joyous gathering to bypass all the craziness of planning a huge event. By focusing on creating an intimate wedding of family and friends, or just the two of you, we bring it all back to the real reason we marry. We limit the number of weddings we do. We don’t take all the weddings we are asked to, because we want it to be a good fit for all of us. No cookie cutters, no conveyor belt weddings on our end. We focus on the love. Love for each other. Love of family who want to celebrate with us. Or, as some couples do…saving that big celebration for later, and having just a two of you kind of wedding. To be alone in a vast desert, and tell each other how you really love that person, with only the desert winds to be a witness. It really is magical either way..

We love doing the details. And our couples tell us it was worth every dang dime. The planning, the decor, and especially creating something elegant, classy, fun, joyful without breaking the bank.  Elopements are very cost effective with your money and your time. Did you hear me? Your time….your life…we only have so much time to spread around. Add wedding planning on top of your already full life. See where we come in? We give you your life back. To enjoy.

And my husband? He supports. I call him “Mr. Logistics” because he is in the background when I need him, so lovingly and willingly running errands for me at the last minute. One time, he drove completely out to the Valley of Fire because one of our vendors needed a longer extension cord for her generator. That is love, folks. He loves me through the crazy times, gives me neck rubs while I sit planning at the computer, kneading the muscles in my neck, when my neck muscles feel like steel. Because he loves me. And because he knows I want to help you show up at your wedding feeling relaxed, knowing that you made the right decision to do your wedding this way,  joyful, in awe of the Valley of Fire, and to focus on each other, and not be the harried mess that having a large wedding creates of us. My husband wants you to have the day you have dreamed of the moment you met The One. And so he continues to support and love me so that gets accomplished. Can’t beat that. No wonder we have stuck together for 4o years. I am proud of that. We are not perfect. We compromise a lot. It has not always been easy. But I have to say. My relationship with him is the most worthwhile thing I have ever spent life on this planet working on and creating. Here is to you, Mr. Logistics.

This is the article I found recently that really got me thinking about all this. I think you may enjoy it too.

http://www.startmarriageright.com/2017/03/knowing-spouses-personality/